Developing emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a weird thing.

Everyone will say they have it in abundance.

Yet, they often complain that their co-workers, friends or acquaintances lack emotional intelligence.

I had a back-and-forth email exchange with a client earlier in my career.

We disagreed about the communication approach for a campaign we were running. She insisted we pitch an angle that I felt would backfire on them.

I was bitching to my colleagues that she lacked emotional intelligence because she refused to see my point of view.

Our communication was starting to become passive-aggressive when my boss said to give her a call and meet in person for coffee

Within 10 minutes of meeting, we solved our disagreement. I had been bemoaning that she didn’t see my point of view when, in fact, I was not trying to understand her point of view.

Only when speaking in person did I realise the internal pressures she had to manage, and together, we came up with a solution that would work for the client, plus let her manage her internal managers.

That conversation was the start of a long and successful client partnership relationship.

Since then, I’ve always tried to meet in person or speak on the phone to understand the person opposite me as best as I can without judgment.

Today’s Prompts

Prompts around developing emotional intelligence

Reflect on a recent disagreement. How did I feel during the conversation, and why? Could I have misjudged the other person’s point of view or intentions? What patters do I notice in how I handle conflicts?

How can I strengthen one of my key relationships this week using active listening?

How can I ensure my next difficult conversation is more productive and empathetic? What role does tone and body language play in how others perceive my message?

Quote of the day

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

The 'If you don’t have time’ Prompt

Who in my life might need more understanding or patience from me right now?

Get the most out of your journalling:

• Choose one prompt: Focus on just one prompt each day to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

• Be brutally honest: Reflect openly and honestly. This is your safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings.

• Take your time: Sometimes it takes a few days to clarify your thinking. Here’s permission for you to take your time to unravel a prompt and not take on any new ones during that time.

• Journal your way: Whether you prefer writing, audio recording, or video, choose the method that suits you best.

• Don't stress about streaks: If you miss a day, don't worry. You can always revisit a previous prompt.

I’d love your feedback

What was your favourite prompt of the day? Is there any specific challenge you want prompts for? How can I improve the content of the newsletter? Reply this mail and let me know!