What are they not saying?

One of my ex-bosses gave me some pretty neat advice once.

We were talking about the art of active listening, and he said:

“Always try and take note of what someone doesn’t say. Don’t jump to conclusions, but be aware of possible implications.”

How do you put that into practice? Here are some practical examples:

• An interviewer dodges a question you ask about work-life balance and instead talks about company culture. Perhaps the team works very long hours?

• In a performance review, your boss praises you for team collaboration. That could mean they weren’t satisfied by your individual contributions, but they didn’t have the heart to say it?

• A friend asks about your job and manager relationship but doesn’t discuss theirs. They might be going through a tough time at work.

• A friend stops mentioning anything about their partner. Maybe the relationship is going through a difficult phase.

• A partner who avoids talking about future plans. Perhaps they are uncertain about the long-term direction or have unspoken concerns.

• A salesperson answers a question about pricing by listing a very specific scope — “It will cost $XXX for the package.” Maybe the feature you want is not in the package and they are intentionally being obtuse.

Please note that these are not definite conclusions, just possible reasons.

It’s healthy to take note of them but it can be unhealthy if they are going to dominate your mind. That’s the last thing you want.

Today’s prompts are about practising awareness.

Today’s Prompts

Communication

Thinking back to a recent conversation with someone close, what unspoken cues did I pick up, if any? How could I have responded with more empathy?

Is there someone in my life who seems distant lately? What steps could I take to support them?

How do I usually react when someone says, “It’s fine," but seems off? What could I do to create a more open space?

Self-Awareness

What topics make me uncomfortable or feel vulnerable? How can I start to be more honest with myself about them?

How can I recognise when I’m holding back? What makes me feel safe enough to open up?

The 'If you don’t have time’ Prompt

Who is someone I haven’t been in touch with whom I can connect with today?

Get the most out of your journalling:

• Choose one prompt: Focus on just one prompt each day to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

• Be brutally honest: Reflect openly and honestly. This is your safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings.

• Take your time: Sometimes it takes a few days to clarify your thinking. Here’s permission for you to take your time to unravel a prompt and not take on any new ones during that time.

• Journal your way: Whether you prefer writing, audio recording, or video, choose the method that suits you best.

• Don't stress about streaks: If you miss a day, don't worry. You can always revisit a previous prompt.

I’d love your feedback

What was your favourite prompt of the day? Is there any specific challenge you want prompts for? How can I improve the content of the newsletter? Reply this mail and let me know!