Why is it so hard to say no?

I’ve always been bad at saying no.

When put on the spot, my brain freezes.

I can’t think of a reason to say no, so I default to yes. And sometimes, that has led me into bad situations.

The worst was when I accepted a job offer too quickly.

I had gone for an interview, and they liked me. They offered me a job and said they increase my pay by 20%.

Instead of thinking it through, I agreed on the spot and even signed the offer immediately.

But as soon as I left, I had a sinking feeling. Something felt off.

The more I thought about it, the more I noticed the red flags—things I should have seen earlier but ignored in the moment.

One week later, they emailed me, asking me to do work before I had even started. That was the final straw. I backed out immediately.

I was lucky—my current company had prepared a counteroffer to retain me.

But this could have gone very badly for me.

Since then, I’ve worked on my ability to say no, and journaling has helped me develop two key hacks:

1. A Default Response: Instead of saying yes immediately, I always say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This buys me time to process whether I actually want to commit.

2. A Personal Criteria List: I’ve defined the things that matter to me when making decisions—whether it's job offers, favours, or social plans. If something doesn’t align, I have a clear reason to decline.

How good are you at saying no?

Today’s Prompts

1 - Reflect on a time you said yes when you wanted to say no. Why did you struggle to say no?

2 - How can you create a system or criteria to make better decisions under pressure?

3 - What are some things you need to say no to more often?

Get the most out of your journalling:

• Choose one prompt: Focus on just one prompt each day to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

• Be brutally honest: Reflect openly and honestly. This is your safe space to explore your thoughts and feelings.

• Take your time: Sometimes it takes a few days to clarify your thinking. Here’s permission for you to take your time to unravel a prompt and not take on any new ones during that time.

• Journal your way: Whether you prefer writing, audio recording, or video, choose the method that suits you best.

• Don't stress about streaks: If you miss a day, don't worry. You can always revisit a previous prompt.

I’d love your feedback

What was your favourite prompt of the day? Is there any specific challenge you want prompts for? How can I improve the content of the newsletter? Reply this mail and let me know!